Leo’s hoodie, Bono’s bodyguard, curations, experiences, & Paris Hilton’s sunglasses at night: Welcome to Art Basel Miami Beach 2018

 

 

We’re not sure what’s worse: Leonardo DiCaprio’s hoodie, Bono’s bodyguards threatening people if they take pictures, or the fact that Paris Hilton is still a ‘name’ at Art Basel Miami Beach in 2018, but all three vexations were under one roof last night at the Casa Tua Karaoke Party with Cocktail Experiences by Beefeater Pink–their name, not ours and, alas, another botheration curated especially for this, Miami’s biggest week of art and freeloading.

Among the others spotted in this, cough, curation of celebrity, cocktails and celebrity wannabe’s was someone with talent and willing to pose for pix: Serena Williams, in town with her own pop-up shop at the Faena. Then there were some so-called moguls, tycoons and a few spawns of such including fashion dynastina Caroline Vreeland.

While DiCaprio emerged from his hoodie (a global warming statement or just pure douchery? Money’s on the latter), sitting with friends and avoiding the cameras, he was seen eyeing Vreeland as she did her best karaoke to Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab.” Hilton was seen twirling around to the music in an Alice and Olivia Keith Haring dress and sunglasses. Inside. At night. At least she took them off to say hi to Serena, who was seen dancing with friends underneath the glow of her disco-ball sized wedding ring.

Bono showed up with his entourage (and bodyguard) following his Sotheby’s and Gagosian (RED) Auction in the Design District that raised $10.5 million to support the fight against AIDS. Just for that he gets a pass on the bodyguard thing. He sat at the center table and listened while trying not to visibly cringe as karaokers sang U2 songs.

Celebrity-wise, this Casa Tua ‘do may have been the best of Basel/Art Week ’18 yet. Between the current political climate and the devastating California fires, some say ABMB just isn’t good optics for celebs this year unless you’re Nobel Peace Prize-nominated chef José Andrés, who has two late night food trucks feeding starving art fans in Wynwood and the Design District as part of the American Express Platinum House at the 1 Hotel South Beach, proceeds from which go to Andrés’ non-profit, World Central Kitchen.  American Express, of course, will be the only form of payment accepted. More on that below.

And then there are the others. Sure, there’s, um, Cardi B , a slew of rappers with face tattoos, Swizz BeatzPharrell WilliamsEva Longoria, casino magnate Steve Wynn, who pulled a Bono and Leo last night at Ball & Chain, adamant that no one take a picture of him even though no one really wanted to, and, erm, uh, oh, yes! Lance Bass. A far cry from the days of Catherine Zeta JonesMichael Douglas and Babs Streisand, but again, it’s about the art.

Said one A+ lister who wanted to remain anonymous: “Art Basel has become a shitshow, so I stayed away this year.” (S)he wasn’t the only one. But back to that art . . . .

José Andrés Truck Stop Locations: 
Wynwood: 390 NW 27th Street
Design District: 95 NE 40th Street

When: 
Thursday, December 6
Stops at: Design District/ 8pm-12am & Wynwood from 11pm-2am

Friday, December 7
Stops at: Design District from 8pm-12am & Wynwood/11pm-2am

Saturday, December 6
Stops at: Design District/ 8pm-12am & Wynwood from11pm-2am

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Ex South Beach club owners have a jet setty new traveling hot spot that won’t turn up in the U.S. until Trump’s gone #MAGA #MAFA #HOME

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The owners of South Beach halcyon-era celebrity haunt B.E.D. ( Beverage. Entertainment. Dining), the place where, on any given night you could spot Jay Z, Beyonce, Britney Spears, Diddy/Daddy/Puffy, Justin Timberlake , Cameron Diaz , Leonardo DiCaprio, or Pitbull lounging on a bed next to you, have opened a new club far, far away from the South Beach sandbox.

It’s called HOME, and there is no place like it. Literally. That’s because it isn’t in a single location. Members pay 5,000 Euro a year to join. Membership is limited to 2000 members, and that covers “Top Shelf Everything.” So many questions here, including why EURO and not dollars, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

So what and where is HOME? Four times a year, you and your lucky plus one will be met at an appointed location and transported via chartered flight and limousine to a certain party where your money’s no good because you already paid for everything in your membership. That’s right, it’s all inclusive, from top-shelf cocktails, Grand Cru wines and 24-year old whiskey, to chef-prepared haute cuisine.

Wherever you are, you will party to world-renowned DJs and live entertainment by global entertainers in a club designed and built for the one-time occasion. 24 hours later you are brought back to reality by chartered plane and limo to same spot where you were picked up.

“Everybody is going huge and public, we are going small and private. it’s a party with our friends. It’s a HOME party! says Helen Clarke, HOME ‘s Social Secretary. “While we love the big EDM festivals, we also miss the intimacy of small clubs and decided to take this concept, and more importantly, the quality, to its absolute extreme. The motto of the club is Oscar Wilde’s bon mot: ‘I have very simple tastes, I require only the best.’

But here’s the rub and reason for the Euros: HOME is not where America is. MAGA, not so much. “Neither Miami nor any American cities are in their plans for the next 4-8 years, earlier if Trump is arrested,” Clarke said. “I’m not kidding. This is the reason they are NOT making plans for American parties.”

HOME’s founder and former BED owner Oliver Hoyos softened the blow, saying the blacklisting of America “Wasn’t a unanimous decision,” but they do choose locations based on the members’ preferences and several already made the request to avoid America until the tangerine turd hijacking the White House is locked up, long gone, or a reasonable facsimile thereof.

Most of HOME’s charter members are European and the history of fascism has not faded. They have seen this farce before and to no good consequence for a continent. HOME, however, does aspire to return to the United States when they MAFA–Make America Fun Again–and when that happens, we can expect a real global party, with crowds that Persimmon Pol Pot could only conjure in his delusions or his administration’s inevitable demise.

Stormy Daniels takes her talents to SoFlo with This Pussy Grabs Back, Mr. President ‘world tour’

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The porn star bangs the future President of the United States. The future POTUS has his crooked lawyer pay her $130,000 to silence her before the fateful day when he actually became POTUS (Thanks, Russia! Thanks uneducated people!). When the future POTUS’s payment goes awol with his tax returns, said porn star threatens to go public with the story. She gets her money. From his lawyer’s own deep pockets. And now she is suing the POTUS anyway because the future POTUS, aka “David Dennison” never signed the nondisclosure agreement that silenced the porn star, aka “Peggy Peterson,” aka “Stormy Daniels, “aka Stephanie Clifford. Got it? Good.

So now that Daniels is going, um, balls to the wall with her stories, she is also going on tour–of some of the country’s most deluxe strip clubs including Pompano Beach’s Solid Gold where on Friday, March 9, she will officially launch her “This Pussy Grabs Back, Mr. President” world tour with two nights at the club and an auction of the dress she wore the night of one of her trysts with Trump that is–wait for it–allegedly stained. Is it blue? That you have to go and see for yourself. Oh, and a portion of the proceeds will go to, get this, the Me Too movement, because, well, it’s 2018 and here’s where we’re at. So what’s Stormy doing there besides basking in the afterglow and her ability to silence Trump in a way only his puppet master Putin can?

The Putin with a puss “will be performing on stage, doing a Q&A and auctioning the dress at midnight,” says an event organizer.

“Performing.” And as viral as this all is, the POTUS remains mute about the whole thing, Ted Cruz ignores it in favor of tax cuts and extremist judges and PR Newswire, which distributes press releases to news organizations on everything from sex toys and condoms to booze, business, NASA and urology, won’t touch it with a rubber glove because, as they told the event organizers, “PR Newswire has let us know there is nothing that can be done to make this topic suitable for the wire, as they’d said it’s too controversial a topic for PR Newswire’s services.”

So who’s the real pussy here?

 

 

The art of noise: hear Paris Hilton “sing” at #ArtBasel

 

While Duran Duran showed their musical prowess, Paris Hilton showed, um, her zest for life, closing out Art Basel with her annual party at WALL Miami accompanied boyfriend and biggest fan,  Chris Zylka.

At 2:30am, the heiress turned DJ gave the crowd an exclusive listen of her upcoming new, um, single “Summer Reign” as her devoted beau sang every lyric (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!) and cheered on like the PH fan club prez he is.

Duran Duran crushes private SiriusXM show in Miami

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It was 1982 all over again last night at the Faena Theater on Miami Beach when Duran Duran performed a special invitation-only concert for SiriusXM listeners. The 56-year-old Simon LeBon, 57-year-old John Taylor, 57-year-old Roger Taylor and the baby of the group, 55-year-old Nick Rhodes, showed no signs of slowing down as they crushed through a sweaty two-hour performance of their greatest hits (Rio, Hungry Like the Wolf, No Ordinary World, and more) and songs from their most recent, Top 10 charting studio album, Paper Gods. Mark Ronson joined Duran Duran on stage for a special performance of Pressure Off and Uptown Funk. The show aired live Saturday night via satellite on SiriusXM’s The Pulse (ch. 15) and1st Wave (ch. 33) channels.

Spotted up in the balcony were Matthew McConaughey, who put on sunglasses before the show started just in case the effects were too blinding, his wife Camila Alves, actor Gerard Butler, and downstairs, a cast member of The Real Housewives of NYC, Luann DeLesseps, in dire need of a cocktail, she said.

Duranies were in heaven and those who didn’t worship the glam, new wave band back in the day may have found themselves doing so last night. LeBon kept things light, though he did make fun of Trump at one point, saying to the band, “I went there” to the tune of boos from the audience upon the mention of that man.

Otherwise, it was all about the band in their heyday, with LeBon waxing nostalgic on the mythical 80s giving way to the 90s and showing their relevancy with Ronson in the 2017s. Not an easy task to do, but despite a few lines and extra pounds, the boys even managed to make the now retro Nagel picture of their Rio days seem rather current and not just a relic hearkening back to better days of music and life in general before things like satellite radio stations gave people like Steve Bannon their own channels.

Videos of the performance are available here:

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Dimitrios Kambouris

Art lovers got to see Scott Disick make out with his teen girlfriend Sofia Richie

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Getty Images for DuJour
It wasn’t quite performance art, but it sure was a performance when ex Kardashian spawn-maker Scott Disick was seen sucking face with his teenage girlfriend, Lionel’s daughter and model Sofia Richie at The Confidante Hotel for the DuJour magazine/WellNEST Art Week Miami kickoff party celebrating DuJour cover model Richie. Although there were 700 people there, they all seemed to focus on the couple who were seen “chatting and kissing” throughout the night. If you looked away from that site, you would have also seen Karolina Kurková, Paul Shaffer, Michael Bay, Christian Acosta, Sammy Sosa, Jeff Gordon,and more you’d probably have to Google. But you couldn’t look away, you know you couldn’t. Lionel, hello?

The #MeToo Movement makes it to #ArtBasel

While Leonardo DiCaprio was busy making his way through Wall with his 40+ mostly female entourage, actors Tara Subkoff, Selma Blair and Caroline Vreeland were busy making statements at The Miami Beach EDITION for The Hole Gallery’s “Synaptic Fatigue/Dear in the Headlights” performance piece featuring 15 other women to the tune of opera singer Rebecca Ringle who sang live during the hour-long show.

The performance included multiple female performers managing to stay in one moment the duration of 60 minutes simultaneously, holding their emotional state — sadness, anger, pain, joy, confusion, rage, laughter. Each performer latched onto a specific time in which they have suffered some aspect of abuse or being treated unfairly by men personally or in the workplace.
This piece was made and dedicated to the present moment shedding light on how much inequality, inhumane and disgraceful actions are inflicted upon women.
In other news, DiCaprio partied on.