Why is Marco Rubio cockblocking Miami’s Roy Altman for US Attorney job?

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Attorney General Jeff Sessions fired 46 Obama-era Justice Department attorneys in March and as of today, there are still 93 vacancies to be filled over there. And while those gaping holes remain, the scuttlebutt sizzles down in Miami as rumors fly as to who may or may not be chosen to rep the Southern District of Florida. In April, we told you about a Jeb! loving attorney, John Curiel, who was on the almost definite outs because he was a Never Trumper, and a season 5 Apprentice contestant, Jose Felix Diaz, who flat out bombed the DOJ interview. Not so ironically, those two were seen flanking Trump when he flew down to Miami to announce what the New York Times called a “grotesque spectacle” of a Cuba policy.

Emerging as a competent frontrunner for the position, if Sessions (or whoever replaces him when he’s indicted for perjury) ever fills it, is Roy Altman, a trial and appellate lawyer at Miami-based Podhurst Orsek, whose impressive CV  reads like someone who should definitely be hired for the job: “Prior to joining the firm, Roy was an Assistant United States Attorney for the Southern District of Florida. During his over six years at the U.S. Attorney’s Office, Roy handled hundreds of criminal cases involving almost every variety of federal criminal offense, including drug trafficking (both domestic and international); arms trafficking; human trafficking; sex trafficking; child prostitution, exploitation, and pornography; bank, mail, and wire fraud; identity theft; armed robbery; attempted murder; serial rape; and the first-degree murder of a U.S. postal worker.”

Sounds like a shoe-in, right? Not if Marco Rubio has anything to do with it. In between tweeting out Bible passages and burying his nose in Trump’s rectum, Lil’ Marco has been going around town telling people he is going to ‘blue slip’ Altman’s nomination if it gets to that point. Why? According to our well-placed source, Rubio has been heard saying, “If Altman was as good as everyone said he was, I would have heard of him before.”

Marco, have you lost your mind along with your spine and testicles? Listed at the very top of the names for Miami Dade members of Rubio’s “Jewish Leadership Coalition, a group of 150 Republican, Democrat and Independent leaders of the Jewish community who are rallying behind Marco in his bid for re-election,” on his Rubio for Senate website is, yup, wait for it, Roy Altman.

So what gives? “Altman’s name was good enough to float on Rubio’s website to pander to the Jews when he was running,” says our very deep throat, who adds, “and now, all of a sudden, he doesn’t know who he is?”

His mind must be in the same place as his missing spine and balls.

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Kylie Jenner & Travis Scott get hot & heavy in Miami

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It looks like things are heating up between Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott as they were spotted having a private, casual early bird dinner Monday at Miami Beach hotspot Bodega Taqueria y Tequila. This is the new couple’s second time to Miami together in less than a month after Scott’s recent appearance at Story Miami.
The Jenner spawn was seen wearing a black and silver dress while Scott was in all black with a diamond chain necklace. The two were being followed by fans and were quickly ushered into the back of Bodega where they were able to escape the onlookers.
Jenner, a self professed lover of Mexican food, ordered a chicken quesadilla while her boyfriend ordered an assortment of Bodega’s famed tacos. Like teens in the fifties, the two sipped Mexican orange sodas. No booze? “It was practically afternoon,” says our spy. “They save that shit for dinner.” The pair was “very affectionate” and left shortly after eating in separate, matching blacked out Escalades. How in love can you be if you take separate Escalades? Huh.
(Photo/INSTAR/PeopleMag)

You down with GOP? Miami Congressman Carlos Curbelo sure was at Yo! MTV Raps (!) DC fundraiser

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On the day that new figures showed that an estimated 51 million people will be uninsured under the House healthcare bill by 2026, some GOP congressmen partied with lobbyists and assorted Republican types Wednesday on the rooftop of The Willard InterContinental Washington for a fundraiser called YOPAC, which, according to our source, nobody seemed to know what it meant until they arrived to see Yo! MTV Raps vet Ed Lover on the mic. Strange bedfellows indeed, but the Yo! MTV Raps themed-party was all sorts of strange.

Oh, to be there when Naughty By Nature’s “OPP” started playing and Lover grabbed the mic, asking, “Are you down with OPP—Other Political Parties?!” Or, how about when Miami Congressman Carlos Curbelo, whose final swing vote was one of a few that helped pass the abysmal abomination known as the American Health Care Act or, as it should be known, TrumpCare, was seen singing along to A Tribe Called Quest with San Diego Congressman Duncan Hunter and later overheard saying he “really wanted to help his district get the very best medical care”?

Though there were no outright utterances of the I word, Curbelo proudly states that he was the first Republican to call for Trump’s impeachment.

According to Miami-based entertainment biz schmoozer Louis “Uncle Louie” Gregory, no one was rapping about politics. In fact Gregory said he and Duncan yapped about WWE legend Bill Goldberg, a client of Gregory’s and a constituent of the congressman’s. “There was no talk of anything but where we were when the songs came out. It was an amazing and surreal night.”

Emphasis on surreal, we’re sure.

Macy Gray one night only @FaenaMiami

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Macy Gray is headed to Miami for an intimate concert at 10 p.m. Friday, June 2 at Faena Theater. The Grammy Award-winning artist will take center stage to perform songs from her debut live Jazz album, “Stripped,” along with select numbers from her impressive repertoire of award-winning tracks, including “I Try” and “Do Something.” Gray comes to Miami after a series of performances overseas, such as one in the UK in which she told the audience, “You got Brexit, we got Trump. “So f*** ’em.”

Tickets begin at $125 and are available at at Ticketmaster.com. For more information, visit www.faena.com or call  786-655-5600.

That time Dan Marino invited Antoine Cason to dinner at the Delano

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Miami Dolphins’ Don Corleone Dan Marino was having dinner Wednesday with five biz-loking men at LEYNIA at the Delano when all of a sudden, Marino notices former Baltimore Ravens player Antoine Cason, who just got his Masters Degree at University of Miami. Marino puts down his glass of expensive red wine and invites Cason and his friend to eat with him and his suits. Our eavesdroppers heard them talking about, wait for it, football. Mazels to Cason and props to Marino for being so cool.

 

Meek Mill snubbed by Trina at his big 30, plus Sting at E11EVEN Miami?

Monday’s in Miami 😁 not againnnn 😁

A post shared by Meek Mill (@meekmill) on May 15, 2017 at 9:01am PDT

Meek Mill hosted his 30th birthday Sunday at LIV joined by Houston Rockets player (and Khloé Kardashian ex) James Harden. Another Khloe K ex joined the party when French Montana returned to the club joined by a massive crew of ladies and took the center stage table adjacent to Mill’s table.
Rapper Trina, whose delightful 2013 song “Ass Fat” featured Mill, was spotted just below the stage in the VIP cluster, “making no attempt to greet Meek or wish him a happy birthday,” says our spy. Busta Rhymes, Jadakiss and professional boxer Adrien Broner were also spotted among the party goers.
Harden later made his way to E11EVEN Miami where Sting, of all peoplewas already drinking vodka and Santa Margherita wine in the club’s party pit.

Baywatched: Pamela Anderson gets bubbly at Wall, the Hoff hops on a Huffy

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Pamela Anderson wasn’t frolicking on the sand a la her old “Baywatch” days, but following the premiere of the celluloid version of the show that launched a thousand nips, the 49-year-old let loose at WALL in a gold sequined dress as she and friends celebrated the role that made her famous with a table of flowing champagne all night long. Anderson, we’re told, showed up around 1:30 p.m. and sat next to “one of the model promoters.” She also had “a LOT of champagne.”

The alleged girlfriend of Wikipedia troll Julian Assange wasn’t the Baywatch babe and about this weekend.

OG David Hasselhoff took his new mustache and 37-year-old British fiancée Hayley Roberts out for a bike ride on the Miami Beach boardwalk while back in LA, the other Hayley in his life–his 24-year-old daughter, was arrested for DUI. The Hoff, it seems, is always hassled about something. “Baywatch” the movie actress Kelly Rohrbach joined in on the festivities Friday at LIV with producer Beau Flynn and several production members. The crew bought four large bottles of Grey Goose and Patrón. Rohrbach was seen letting loose, dancing on top of the booth with a group of girlfriends.

Rohrbach’s table was surrounded by Wu Tang legend Raekwon and rapper Noreaga, both who both performed alongside French Montana, who was seen later over the weekend getting cozy with Amber Rose. Rapper Red Cafe and artist Alec Monopoly were also on stage for the party.